On Thursday I was given an all day waiting slot for a mattress for the guest bed.  This means that effectively I was chained to the house from 8am to 6pm.  Of course, there is always the chance that it wil arrive at 08:05, which would be great, but sadly that  hardly ever happens.  This Thursday, I was also expecting a friend over for coffee, and a carpenter who was coming over to fix this overly complicated headboard to the bed.  He had been coming on Wednesday but forgot to write it down, so told me he would be here on Thursday at 10am.  At 10:15, I got a text from him saying he was running late, it would be closer to 11.  No problem, I text back, I’m here anyway.  My friend was due at 11:30, so that gave me plenty of time to get him set up in the room, so that she and I could enjoy a nice cup of tea and a natter.  11 came and went, and my friend came over at the appointed time.  We made tea, did the grand tour, and then sat in my sunny living room catching up.  It was lovely, although I will admit to being a bit anxious that the carpenter would turn up in the middle of it all.  Anyway.  She left at 12:45 and as I went in to put our tea cups in the dishwasher, my phone buzzed.  Sorry, got a flat battery, be there soon

I carried on with my day, getting stuff ready for my guests who were arriving on Saturday.  I am very excited that my cousins D&E are coming to visit.  They are staying a while and I am looking forward to many hours spent chewing the fat, and generally having a laugh.  The mattress that was arriving was for their bed, so it was a fairly important piece of equipment. 

At about 13:45, the carpenter showed up, full of apologies for his lateness and eager to get on with it.  We set him up in the room and a few minutes later the doorbell rang.

I answered the door and there was a guy standing there, breathless, with a long sausage-like parcel leaning up against the wall. 

“Hi,” I said, “Is this the mattress, great, my guests arrive soon, so this will be useful!”

“I’m knackered” says he, still trying to catch his breath. “Sign here please.”

Taking the pen and the machine, I signed at the appointed place.  He started to walk away.

“Er, you are going to bring it in aren’t you?”

“No, you bring it in” he said, sneering. “I brought it all the way up here.”

I stopped myself from saying that bringing it all the way up here was the very definition of his job title.  Mattress Delivery Man implies that a certain amount of – oh I don’t know – Mattress delivery would be on the cards.

I looked at him, 

“No, seriously please bring it in.”

“You bring it in, show me what a big strong girl you are.”  I was a big strong gobsmacked girl at this point.  Apart from the affront at being referred to as a girl (I know, it doesn’t make sense that that would offend me, but I was offended ok?  It was the way he said it, all patronising and oily) I was also surprised that he would be so unhelpful.  I mean nowhere on the website did it say that delivery was free but they would only slow the van down to sixty and pitch the goods in the vague direction of your residence.

“I am not a big strong anything at all,” I said, still trying to hold on to my patience,  “Are you seriously not going to bring the mattress in?”

Just then, the carpenter came up behind mein the flat.

“Nah, you’ve got a big man in there.  Get him to lug it for you.  What’s the point of having a man if he isn’t doing stuff for you?” 

And with that, he disappeared into the lift.

I couldn’t believe it.  Anyway, thank goodness the carpenter was there because the mattress would still be in the hallway if he wasn’t. I couldn’t move it at all.  We pushed and pulled and heaved and ho’ed and finally got the mattress onto the base.  As soon as that was done, I went to my computer to fashion an email to the company.  I outlined the conversation, and even included quotes.  If they haven’t responded by Monday, I am naming and shaming them in this post, tagging them and generally going to try and broadcast their general shitness to anyone who will listen. 

Perhaps that will show him what a big strong girl I am. What a wanker.

So here we are – Monday and so far no response.

The company was called Thebedwarehousedirect.com  and their customer service is rubbish.